PREPARÁNDONOS PARA EL INVIERNO

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Iba yo con cierta urgencia a darme una ducha antes de cenar cuando me encontré con la bañera ocupada. Y no era una persona lo que había allí en cueros, eran pedazos de oso pardo (grizzly), alce (el cérvido más grande del mundo), caribú (reno en Europa) y cabra. El plan era hacer salchichas al día siguiente.

Y  el día siguiente llegó y nos pusimos todos a trabajar. Empezamos deshuesando los cuartos delanteros del oso, que eran puro músculo. Después del oso deshuesamos alguna parte indeterminada de una cabra y lo picamos todo junto.

Con la mezcla de carne de oso, cabra y algo de grasa de cerdo hicimos una hamburguesa gigante y añadimos los aderezos de la receta de la abuela de Myron: un montón de pimienta cayena, cúrcuma, sal y algo más que me dejo. Lo amasamos todo a lo bruto junto con un poco de agua, aceite y pan. 

Una vez estábamos todos pringados y asquerosillos la masa de carne picada ya estaba lista para embutir. Utilizamos intestino de cerdo y nos costó un buen rato pillarle el truco a la embutidora, pero al final hicimos diez salchichones de oso y cabra.

A mí me tocó cortar al alce. Tardé unas dos horas en dejar la carne lista para la picadora; no entiendo cómo un animal vegano puede tener tanto músculo. La carne era tan roja y jugosa que parecía atún. Se podían sacar trozos como puños sin nada blanco. Era, además, muy tierna.

El alce no lo mezclamos con nada porque es una carne buenísima. Con ella conseguimos hacer once salchichones.

Una vez tuvimos todos los embutidos listos Myron construyó, al más puro estilo Briconsejo, un cubículo para ahumarlos. Utilizamos madera de alce, cedro y abeto que humearon durante algo más de tres horas.

Dejamos los salchichones toda la noche a la intemperie, ya sin humo, y cuando fuimos a recogerlos tenían todos tan buena pinta que nos comimos uno de cada para desayunar (se hornean y luego se les da un susto en la sartén). Habían quedado muy ricos.

Para celebrarlo nos fuimos a cenar al bosque con las motos de nieve. Subimos a una pequeña colina y los niños hicieron una hoguera en la que hicimos “smores”. Se ponen nubes en un palo y se acercan al fuego. Esto hace que el interior se deshaga a la vez que el exterior se hace crujiente. Una vez la nube está lista se pone un poco de Nutella en una galleta, se pone la nube encima y se tapa con otra galleta. Ese bocadillo de Nutella y nube se llama “smore”.

Lo de ir a la cima de una pequeña colina no fue por capricho. Llevábamos las motos cargadas de trineos y tablas para deslizarnos pendiente abajo. Los niños y nosotros nos pasamos el rato lanzándonos pendiente abajo haciendo carreras con los trineos mientras Myron iluminaba la bajada con la luz de la moto de nieve, con la que nos pasaba a buscar una vez estábamos todos abajo y nos volvía a llevar hasta arriba. Muy buen servicio de taxi.

Enrique & Marina

English version

STOCKING UP THE PANTRY

Enrique really needed a shower after, maybe, a week when he found the bathtub engaged. No, it wasn’t a naked person in there but frozen chunks of grizzly bear, moose (the biggest cervid on Earth) and mountain goat. He quickly remembered that we were going to make sausages the day after. And decided to delay the shower for after that.

The next day came and there was work for everyone. First Myron showed the right way to carve bear and goat pieces. Bear legs were definitively the part with the most meat and the slowest to chop. Goat thighs and other parts were smaller and had less meat and more fat, which got discarded for the sausages in this case. Both meats got grounded together twice, not before solving a few problems with the machine which happen to not be as great as Myron had been told when he bough it. 

After the grinding, we added a little bit of pork fat and formed a giant burger. Following Myron’s grandmother’s recipe we added cayenne pepper, turmeric, salt, pepper and other species. The raw meat got kneaded for a bit with some water, olive oil and bread crumbs. 

That was a pretty greasy and rather unappetising job but after it, the meat was ready to roll. We had pig’s intestines to be stuffed so the outer part would also be edible. The press turned out to be a bit tricky (probably not as much as the grinder) but we definitively found the way to make it work and make ten long sausages with goat and bear meat. 

Enrique had to carve the moose. It took him two hours to separate all the meat from the bones. We really can’t understand how a vegan animal can grow so much muscle. Its flesh look so red and juicy that seemed fresh tuna from the ocean. And the pieces were big as fists and pure red muscle. Not to mention how tender it was. 

We obviously didn’t mix moose with anything other than salt because it has such an exquisite flavour. Furthermore, we didn’t need to, we made eleven big sausages. 

When all the sausages were ready Myron built in no time a cubicle to smoke them all. For more than three hours, we burnt maple, cedar and pine wood at the bottom of the smoker that would flavour the sausages. 

The sausages were left to spend the night out in the cold but inside the smoker, now without any fire. In the morning they looked so good that we took one of each to taste for breakfast (they can cook in the oven as whole or sliced in the pan). They tasted great.

That evening, to celebrate the culinary success we went snowmobiling to the forest. The boys and Myron took us to the top of their favourite hill to slide from. At the top they have built a couple of benches around the perfect place to light a fire. That night the fire was warm and we had popcorn, marshmallows to roast and graham crackers and Nutella to make Penner style s’mores. 

Besides the bonfire delicacies, one of the snowmobiles was towing a long sleigh full of sleds and snowboards to slide down the steep hill. Even though it was already dark we spend a few hours sliding with the different toys, racing up and down while Myron lit the slope with his snowmobile and towed up the lazy ones to get down again as fast as possible. There’s no doubt that the Penner gang are professionals of winter entertainment. 

Enrique & Marina

LA MATANZA

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Hace ya unos días que vinieron unos amigos de los Penner a casa porque habían comprado una de sus cabras. La tenían que sacrificar y limpiar, de lo que se encargó, evidentemente, Myron.

Preparamos uno de los cobertizos con paja seca por el suelo y plásticos aislantes en la zona de la puerta con el objetivo de mantener el calor en el interior. Trajimos un foco muy potente, unas cuerdas, un trineo para las vísceras y los utensilios de caza de Myron.

La cabra en cuestión era el macho Billy, de cinco años y con tendencia a romper cercados, paredes y puertas. Los niños nos explicaron que solía romper la puerta o la cerca, salir al exterior del granero, mirar la nieve y volver a entrar por donde había salido porque probablemente estaba más calentito.

Myron entró en el corralito donde estaba Billy y le disparó entre los ojos con un rifle del calibre 22, pero la bala rebotó; dicen que probablemente de tanto darse cabezazos contra la puerta el animal tenía un callo considerable. La bala no lo mató pero le dejó lo suficientemente aturdido como para que Myron pudiese degollarlo sin recibir una cornada.

Una vez desangrado lo colgamos de una viga por las patas traseras y Myron nos enseñó a desollarlo con un bisturí. Entre Myron y el señor que había comprado la cabra tardaron una media hora en terminar con la piel.

Una vez los músculos estuvieron a la vista Myron dio una pequeña lección de anatomía, aderezada con anécdotas de caza: que si un oso hizo esto, que si un alce hizo lo otro… obviando el tema de la muerte y la sangre era muy entretenido de escuchar.

Myron procedió entonces a eviscerar a Billy y aprovechó para remarcar lo limpio que es quitarle las entrañas a un animal cuando no tiene un balazo que le ha atravesado las tripas, los pulmones, el corazón o todo a la vez. También nos demostró que, si todos los órganos están intactos, no huele mal.

Pusimos todos las vísceras en el trineo y se las llevamos a los perros del vecino, que tiene unos cincuenta, ya que los usa para competiciones de trineos. La cabeza se la quedaron los niños porque querían los cuernos para un fuerte que están construyendo en el bosque.

Una vez terminamos con Billy fue el turno de los dos pavos de la granja. Los pusimos (uno a uno) en un cubo con un agujero en la base por el que salía la cabeza y Myron los degolló. 

Una vez desangrados y muertos los metimos en un barreño con agua muy caliente durante unos segundos y los desplumamos. Con el frío que hacía era bastante agradable para las manos ya que los pavos estaban calientes.

Una vez terminamos y recogimos ya era bastante tarde y Shelley preparó uno de los pavos para cenar, estaba riquísimo.

Enrique & Marina

English version

THE SLAUGHTER OF THE GOAT

While with the Penners, some friends of them came over from Whitehorse to visit because they bought one of the family goats. And it wasn’t a pet goat so it needed to be killed and butchered, which Myron kindly offered to help them doing that. 

Enrique helped a bit with that while I went to a pumpkin carving event at the Community Hall. First, they covered the floor of one of the barns with dry straw and closed the entry with some plastic to try to keep the heat inside the space. They installed a big lamplight and a few ropes, brought in a sled to move any heavy stuff and Myron’s hunting gear. 

Let me introduce the goat whose life was going to end. His name was Billy and was a five years old male pretty keen on braking fences, doors and walls. The boys told us that Billy used to break the gate of his barn way too often to go for a wander around, the animal will always go back to his stable since it’s probably warmer than outside. On top of this, he was getting a bit aggressive and feeding him became a not pleasant activity for the kids. They tried to cut his horns so at least he wouldn’t hurt anyone but the smart Billy managed to remove the elastics every time. Anyway, as you can see, it seemed that there wasn’t much point to keep him at the farm anymore. 

The process started with Myron getting into Billy’s barn and shooting a bullet of the calibre 22 between the creature’s eyes. The bullet bounced off. They though that he may had grown a really thick forehead after knocking his horns against fences, doors and others for so long. The impact of the bullet left him dazed enough for Myron to slit his throat. 

After bleeding the goat, they hung the body by the back legs and Myron showed the others how to remove the skin using a scalpel. It took them about half an hour to skin the animal. 

When the muscles were showing, Myron did a little lecture on anatomy scattered with a few hunting stories to make it more fun: anecdotes about bears, issues with a moose… Despite all the death and blood I bet it was really entertaining. 

Then Myron proceed eviscerating Billy and pointed out how much cleaner this is when the creature to butcher didn’t get a bullet in his stomach, guts, lungs, heart or a combination of these. And demonstrated that if the organs aren’t damaged it doesn’t smell at all (when done properly, of course). 

They load the sled with the guts and took them to the neighbour who has about fifty competition sled-dogs and always welcomes free fresh food. The Penner boys took care of the Billy’s head because they’re collecting various horns to make a fountain in the forest. 

When Billy was all done, it was the farm turkey’s turn. The winter is too cold for them and if they don’t get killed they’ll soon die in the cold. One bird at a time, they were put in a bucket with their heads sticking out for Myron to slid them. 

Once killed and bled, they threw their bodies in very hot water for a few seconds and plucked them. Despite the cold, it was a pleasant job for their fingers considering that the turkeys were still warm. 

When they were all done it was already pretty late in the evening and Shelley cooked one of the turkeys for dinner. We decided it was our delayed Thanksgiving dinner since we didn’t have one at the right time and the family also didn’t do anything special on the real date. 

Enrique & Marina